Darwin Award Nomination (wanted: one engine hoist)

The Darwin Award is a reoccurring Internet folklore award given posthumously to fools that kill themselves in creatively stupid ways. It was a night with big OC-3 plans. The kids were at grandma's and the wife was out shopping. First step, remove the remaining dozer mounting structure and attached hydraulic system.

Well, I eyeballed it and thought, "It can't weigh that much?" Well, without the proper tools you improvise. I hooked up some tie-down straps to a few eyebolts I had in the ceiling for the kids' wintertime swings. I've sat in the swings, they seemed sturdy enough.

I got the mounting structure about 4 inches off of the crawler and I knew this wasn't a great idea. The straps were creaking and the structure was moving around with a mind of its own. I could keep lifting it hoping the straps wouldn't snap AND if I got it up in the air. . .what was I going to do with it? It was too heavy to muscle to the ground while running the come-a-long with one hand. . .So I gave up my potential Darwin Award and put it back on the crawler.

Wanted: One Engine Hoist. . .I may have to look into renting one of these things - apparently they are designed to safely lift heavy objects up and then roll them out of the way - fascinating.